dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Randomize
