you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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