My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Randomize