sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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