stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Edward fifth and chaser hands
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
