Whatcha textin bout Willis?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize