I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
