He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
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