She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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