Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
My dad just said "fuck circus"
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
