We need to rekindle our bromance
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
