I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
