i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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