check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
