It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
