GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
