apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
