He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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