Where did you get a picture of my penis
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
