the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
