yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
She announced her abortion via fbk
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
