Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
did you just send me my own nude
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
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