all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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