chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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