Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Holy shit dude........stairs
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
