I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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