Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
