she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
