You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
