I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
