You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
