Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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