Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
