just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Randomize
