dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
