from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
