Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
