have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize