dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
