Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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