yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I touched a dick in church today
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
