Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
