Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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