Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
