id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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