He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
