My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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