we have officially lost it.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
