I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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