Three words: puerto rican gang bang
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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