Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
