maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
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