CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Woke up backwards on a recliner
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
