Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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