i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
