Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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