: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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