Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
