did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
