I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I think my moral compass just broke
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
